I know that I am not the foremost expert on women. I'm 31, I've only had one girlfriend in the past and my last official date was over 12 years ago. Not that I haven't tried to put myself out there, just no luck.
I just entered the so called "Friend Zone" with a girl that turned me down for an official date, after we had been on at least 4 unofficial ones. In order to be official the girl has to know and agree that it is a date in the first place.
Right now there is an interesting mix of feelings going through me and I want to tell women why they should go on more dates.so here I go.
I am a man which means I am filthy and filled with issues. When I find a girl that I like those issues get a rain check. I will personally make sure that my hygiene, manners, the rate at which I talk, my topics of conversation, the speed at which I eat, what I eat, and how I dress, among other issues are in check. A lot of effort goes into showing a woman all of my strengths and none of my weaknesses. A first, second, and third impression is very important to a guy, or at least me.
So now I am in the "Friend Zone," without a real chance at a relationship or any real dates what so ever. I had originally showed the girl I was interested by taking her hand on an outing while walking around a very romantic spot in the late afternoon on a Sunday. Before that day we had been to a concert, two lunches, and a play. Valentines day was coming up and I really wanted to make it special for me and this lovely lady.
Gathering up some courage I presented my hand and said "May I?" She took it. She then began to talk about how she's not ready to date because of her busy schedule and "Some things she wanted to get right" with herself first. I was obviously crushed.
Some men can move on and find another person. I felt betrayed. Rejection is not easy for me to take. The main reason is because of how much effort I put in to all of my issues from earlier. After 4 outings with a girl not to mention the vast amount of texts and phone conversations with her and the amount of planning and time it takes to get two people to do something together, I wanted to experience some kind of positive result.
Women, This is for you. Don't string a guy along. Don't go out 4 times and not make it clear. Give the guy a chance. If he is putting forth an effort, acknowledge it with a freakin date. It's not going to kill you and guys like me will greatly appreciate it. If it ends up in the "friend zone" eventually, then at least you tried. Trying and failing at a relationship is much better than never allowing it to bloom in the first place.
If a guy is pursuing a girl and trying hard to hang out with her, correct his issues, and making a tireless effort to be with you, go out with him. If you are worried about that guy being devoted and invested in you as a woman, don't worry he already is.
